I’ll marry a second
wife, groom tells guests on wedding day
By MUYIWA OYINLOLA
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Most men may find it difficult to tell their fiancée
they would take a second wife soon after marriage, but Y.J.
Itopa, Chief Press Secretary to the deputy governor of Kogi
State is not in this category. He told his heartthrob, slim
light complexioned Hajarat Bello, the gospel truth long before
taking her to the altar.
At the colourful wedding held in Ihima, Okehi Local Government
Area of Kogi State, the deputy governor, Mr. Phillips Salawu
and his radiant wife Grace, and other dignitaries could not
hide their amazement as Yusuf told them he would soon invite
them for another wedding.
And in spite of the fact that the marriage is now blessed
with a lovely baby boy, Itaazi, he is set to solemnize the
other relationship with a dark complexioned damsel who incidentally
is an old friend of Hajarat. The undergraduate of Kogi State
Polytechnic is now perplexed, but she has no option, she had
been briefed before by her husband who she is deeply in love
with.
During a recent chat with Daily Sun in Lokoja, where they
reside, the young couple revealed how they cope with each
other and what life may likely look like soon after the relationship
goes polygamous.
Hajarat spoke first.
How we met
We met in my town in Okehi Local Government, here in Kogi
state. He came to our house with my elder brother who is his
friend, and told me instantly that he wanted to marry me.
I said no, because I know that like my brother he is not a
practising muslim, although I liked him.
He invited me to Lokoja severally but I always declined but
along the line, I began to have soft spot for him, and I started
visiting him. We went out for three years, and all through
I found him to be nice, hard working and caring.
Courtship
He’s a muslim, but not a practising one, and he doesn’t
pretend about it. He’s straightforward and plain. You
know where he stands at all times, he’s very friendly
and firm. What more do I want from a man? But I’m still
trying to make him observe the prayer hours and do a few other
religious things. He does not in any way discourage me from
my religious practice, and that’s the beauty of it.
He told me then he would marry two wives and he even told
me the person, she’s my friend, she came here when we
had our baby and still comes around once in a while.
I am in no way against it, our religion permits it. He can
marry as many wives as he wants, there is no problem. Let’s
forget about how I will cope with her, I will carry on when
the time comes. A man is free to marry as many wives as he
likes, no woman can do that.
Yusuf speaks
Attraction
It is natural for matured people to get married, but you also
have to look at the person’s physique and other features,
all these I admire in her. She’s beautiful, loving and
homely.
Proposal
There was no problem about it, she only gave me some tough
time. Her initial concern was that I’m not a practising
muslim, but I have a perfect relationship with my God. I don’t
hurt anybody and I seek the good of all, all these she later
came to understand.
Polygamy
I will definitely take a second wife, and my wife is already
aware of it. I don’t pretend about it, and the new wife
is already on the way, they both know themselves, they are
friends.
Even before marriage, when I made up my mind, I called my
present wife and I told her, I advanced my reasons and she
agreed with me. Life is more robust when you have a large
family, not this colonial limitation we put ourselves. My
father had several wives and we all got along. Polygamy helps
you to share. I’ve discussed with the two of them and
they have assured me they will co-operate.
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